Fairy Tail
by PeoniesandPoppies
Summary: When things get tough, the girls get creative. Join Levy, Lucy, Juvia, Erza and Cana on their adventure in business ownership. Owning and operating a restaurant is hard and hiring staff is even harder, especially when the uniform is a silicone tail. Hooters meets Joes Crab Shack and makes a delicious man candy baby in this hilarious shit fest. Collab with raventhefox on Tumblr.


Yep. Another multi chapter with slow updates.

You're welcome.

This is a multi chapter collab with raventhefox!

We hope you enjoy!

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There are good days and there are bad days and unfortunately for Levy McGarden, today was a bad one. She had been working at the old library in downtown Magnolia just a few blocks from her cozy, no, absolutely tiny apartment. She woke up to the sound of stray dogs howling in the alleyway and a loud crashing noise. This shitty wake up call alone should have told her exactly what kind of day this would be. Getting to work was even more hellish with all of the unusual traffic in the area. Magnolia, even the downtown area, was usually pretty peaceful, but apparently Jesus himself was having a concert in the city square because cars were bumper to fucking bumper.

Levy, herself, was not a driver. No, no. Insurance was far too expensive, not to mention car payments. Oh, no. Levy McGarden much preferred to use the services of taxi cabs and the subway. No matter how many times her friends told her it would be cheaper in the long run to just buy a car, Levy insisted on public transportation. It was moments like these that made her certain she had made the correct decision.

The petite blunette quickly handed the driver a wad of Jewel and flung herself from the vehicle, which was at a standstill in the most horrendous traffic Magnolia had probably ever seen. She weaved through the mess of cars as fast as her legs would take her and even though she wanted to slow down to regain her breath once she touched sidewalk, she knew she couldn't. She ran faster, knocking into people as she went, racing through the streets to reach her destination. If she didn't get there fast, she would be late and Levy McGarden was NEVER late for anything.

The old library finally came into view. It was a very large, very old brick building that held over 3 stories of wonderful, glorious books. She had loved that place since she was a child and working there had always been her dream. In fact, it was the only dream that never changed no matter how much she did. She had applied for a job there every year since turning 16, but they were always fully staffed. She finally had some luck after turning in her final application on her 19th birthday. She had just started college at Magnolia University and hoped that this would finally be her year. And, oh, was it ever, but it came at a price. The only reason there even was a job opening was because the old lady that worked the front desk finally kicked the bucket. 98 years old and the old bitty was still on her daily grind. Levy admired that woman and felt a little bad that she gained her dream job under such circumstances, but she was a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.

Levy shoved open the heavy glass doors and plowed into the lobby panting like an overworked mutt. She put her hands on her knees and finally allowed herself some time to get her breathing under control. She was a mess and she knew it, but at least she made it on time.

Just as she was about to sit up and clock in, she was knocked over like a cheap, flimsy lawn chair in a heavy gust of wind. She realized soon that she wasn't just knocked over, she was being crushed by something, or someone, incredibly heavy. So much for breathing. With this weight on top of her she wasn't going to be doing any of that. All she could see was black. Lots of it. She discovered it was hair when some found it's way into her mouth. Her eyes widened and she tried wiggling her head to get the hair from her mouth. Her arms flailed beneath the person and she tried to kick her legs, but that wasn't really happening. She heard a low groan, felt it in her chest. Her face bloomed crimson when she felt warm, slightly damp lips on her neck. She also felt a cool smoothness beneath those lips, like metal.

The weight lifted from her and shifted to it's knees revealing a large man with tanned skin and long, untamed jet black hair. Levy felt embarrassment on a whole other level. She wanted to crawl under a rock and never come back out... EVER. His red eyes scanned her like she was groceries as she lay there still. She was right, that was metal she had felt. The man had many, many piercings on his face and up his arms. After a long, silent and very awkward moment of staring, he made the first move. He said nothing, but offered his hand. He was wearing a wrist watch, or rather a sweatband with a watch built into it. It read 10:42 AM. Levy McGarden was officially late for the first time in her entire life. She was meant to clock in at 10:30 AM. She was late before she ever set foot into the old library. She stared at the time on his wrist in disbelief. All sense blew out the window and Levy finally embraced the shitty day for what it was, unfortunately it was only going to get shittier.

"Why didn't you watch where you were going?! I was standing right there!" Levy was red faced and absolutely livid. The man retracted his hand and the studs that replaced his brows descended upon his dark, crimson eyes expressing anger and confusion.

"It's not like I aimed to squash ya er nothin'. I jus' didn't see ya." He explained roughly. She narrowed her eyes and snatched up his books from the floor as she stood to her feet. She glared down at him menacingly.

"Are you calling me... Short?" She growled threateningly. He stood to his feet and smirked down at her. He was nearly 3 heads taller than her and the sight was truly comical to behold.

"I ain't never told a lie, shrimp. Gihi." He crossed his arms and leaned forward so that they were eye level. She scowled so hard he was sure her face would stick that way before long.

"The name's Levy." She shoved his books at him until he accepted them, her face red and angry the entire time. He smiled and adjusted his books under his arm. He winked and reached into his pocket, pulling out a cell phone.

"Gajeel. Ya know, yer kinda cute when yer angry." If he thought anger was cute on her, she was about to get gorgeous. She shifted her attention to the phone in his hand and felt her blood boil. Today just really was not the day.

"Well, Gajeel, I don't care how cute you think I am, you are not getting my number! Take your books and go!" Her voice was shrill and agitated. He shrugged and shoved the phone back into his pocket.

"Suit yerself. See ya 'round, shrimp." He shot her a fuck boy salute and a wolfish grin before disappearing out of the same glass doors she had rushed in. She growled as she turned around to clock in nearly twenty minutes late.

* * *

The day went by slowly and yet ended in a snap. Before she clocked out, an announcement was made. The library was closing for good because the mayor wanted to tear it down to build a shiny new mall. Levy felt sick. Apparently that was what all of the commotion in town was about. The Mayor was holding a ceremony to announce the soon to be construction of the new mall. Thanks to the great mayor's decision, Levy was going to be without a job.

Levy returned to her apartment defeated like a pup with it's tail between it's legs. The apartment was dark as she entered and oddly quiet. The apartment was practically a postage stamp, but despite that, she had a roommate. Erza Scarlet was a baker that worked in the local cake shop and she was also a culinary student at Magnolia University. Normally, Erza was home by the time Levy returned from work, but it didn't look like anyone was there.

Levy sighed and tossed her keys onto the coffee table. With the clash of the keys on the cheap Ikea table, the light flashed on. She screamed bloody murder and slammed her back into the front door. Voices sang out from behind the futon couch.

"SURPRISE!" Erza and three other girls, Lucy, Cana and Juvia popped up carrying wine and junk food.

Lucy Heartfilia and Levy McGarden had been friends since they were 8 years old. They met at a carnival on the ferris wheel. Levy was being raised by her two older brothers, Jet and Droy. They had taken her to the carnival as a reward for her typical stunning report card and instead of riding the ferris wheel with her, they encouraged her to climb aboard with another small girl. Levy didn't have any friends and her brothers were the best she had. Jet and Droy loved their little sister with every fiber of their beings and only wanted her happiness. They tried pushing her towards other kids for years but she never took to any of them, until that day, anyhow. Levy learned that the little blonde girl she had been pawned off on was just as lonely as she was. Lucy's parents were the owners of the Heartfilia Railway and as such, were constantly busy with business meetings and paperwork. Unfortunately, Lucy spent most of her time with nannies. Other than the business, Lucy had a very close relationship with her parents. When they didn't have to work so much, a rarity for sure, they always made sure to clear Lucy's schedule so that they could all spend the day together.

Cana Alberona met Levy in a bar one night the year prior. Lucy, Levy and Erza had gone out partying after finals week and Cana happened to be on her weekly pub crawl. It wasn't normal for Cana to lose her bearings on account of some liquor, but that night she had met a man with a mix in which Cana had never known before. She was completely schnockered. Erza had picked her up off the bar floor and dragged her to the bathroom. Lucy held her hair as she released the cocktail from hell from her stomach. After all of that, Levy took her back to her shoe box apartment and let her crash for the night. After that, Cana stuck around for the long haul.

Juvia Lockser met Lucy and Levy at the public pool in town. She was a life guard there and Levy floated a bit too far into the deep end on her float when some rowdy teenagers knocked her off of it. Levy wasn't the best swimmer and would have drowned if Juvia hadn't, well, done her job. Lucy offered to take Juvia out to lunch to thank her for saving Levy and after many humble refusals and much insistence, she finally agreed. After that, Juvia personally taught Levy how to swim. They have been friends ever since.

"You scared me!" She whined as she clutched her chest like a Christian grandmother at Thanksgiving dinner during the ceremonial closet opening. Cana laughed and climbed over the uncomfortable piece of furniture. She raised a bottle of wine in each hand high in the air as she approached.

"Sucks about the library, but we're here to make it better!" She cheered. Levy sighed and rolled her eyes. With all the commotion in town today it was inevitable that they would hear about it. She threw her hands up and flung herself onto the futon, snagging a pint of orange sherbet from Juvia's arms as she did.

"Of course you heard." She pouted as she tore open the lid of the citrusy treat. Erza stepped around the futon and knelt down in front of her while Cana began pouring glasses of wine.

"I hope you don't mind, we just know how much that library meant to you." Erza was a strong, matter of fact type woman who gave many men the shivers, but she still had a soft side. Lucy crawled over the back of the futon and settled in beside Levy.

"Don't worry, Levy. We'll help you figure something out." Lucy stood from the futon and went to the tiny shoe box kitchen only 5 feet away. She obtained a handful of spoons and brought them to the group, setting them on the fiberboard coffee table. Levy plucked one up and shoved it into the sherbet, retrieving a massive spoonful of the much needed dessert. She shoved the mountain of cold into her mouth and braced herself for a brain freeze.

Juvia went to the kitchen and set the snacks on the counter. As she put the ice cream containers in the freezer, she noticed one of them had a merman on the label. The flavor was playfully named Fish Food. She examined the Merman on the label and lost herself in thought. She found it unusual that they would use a merman on the label as typically it is mermaids that are shown. She then smiled as a random thought crossed her mind. She remembered Going to a restaurant with Lucy and Levy once where all the waitresses were required to wear extremely skimpy outfits. Juvia had no issue with showing skin at all. She showed off her legs every chance she got, but she remembered Lucy mentioning that she would pay good money to see a restaurant with the same concept, but with men instead of women.

Juvia gasped and kissed the merman image on the label. She was certain she had just struck gold. Perhaps this was exactly what they needed. She practically flung herself over the bar that separated the living room from the kitchen. All of them had their eyes on her as she stumbled in front of them pulling her hair out of her face with a huge smile.

"Lucy, do you remember when we went to Hooters? Remember what you said?" Juvia plopped down onto the floor in front of them, waiting eagerly for the blonde's response.

Lucy hummed to herself and thought back to that night. She had knocked back a few drinks, but she still remembered enough. She filtered through her memories of their conversations that night, but realized she had no idea what specific comment Juvia was referring to. She frowned and sat forward on the futon.

"I said a lot of things that night." She shrugged and grabbed a glass of wine from Cana.

Juvia groaned and fell backwards.

"You said you would pay good money to see the male version of that, right?" She reminded her, still laying on her back.

Lucy smiled and nodded.

"And I would! Why? Did someone finally do it?!" She asked excitedly. Juvia sat up and shook her head.

"Not yet, which is why Juvia thinks we should." She bit her lip, hoping they wouldn't think the idea was totally outlandish. She was relieved when Lucy and Cana immediately shouted "Hell yeah!" in unison.

"So, you want the guys to walk around in speedos or something? I'm not sure the world is ready for that." Levy shuddered and took a gulp of wine.

Juvia shook her head and stood up. She placed her hands out in front of her and smiled nervously.

"What do you think of... Mermen? Like a nautical theme?" She looked around at the girls, processing their reactions.

Cana laughed and raised her glass stating that she was "Down for anything."

Erza crossed her legs and nodded as she took a sip of wine. She lifted her shoulders ever so slightly and smiled. "Sounds promising."

Levy shoved her spoon back into the sherbet and sat back on the futon. "Well, there is nothing else like it, that's for sure."

Lucy was practically bursting at the seams with inspired energy. She shot up off the futon and pumped her perfectly manicured fist into the air.

"If we can work out the details and get everything in order, I am absolutely positive that I can get papa to back us!" Not everybody knew it, but Lucy's family was loaded. Her mother insisted on sending her to public school. Being home schooled, she didn't have many friends and her mother wanted as normal a life for her as she could manage. At school, she wasn't known as Lucy Heartfilia, instead she was known as Lucy Porter. She took on her father's original last name for school because her mother worried how Lucy would be treated in school if she were publicly affiliated with the Heartfilia fortune. She had a fantastic relationship with her parents and spent time with them as often as possible. Her father's work was demanding, but whenever he had a break he was sure to spend it with his girls. Despite the fact that she had access to the Heartfilia fortune, Lucy rarely ever bothered. She preferred to earn her own way in the world, but this idea was something she couldn't do entirely alone and as a business venture, she felt it couldn't hurt to finally lay claim to her namesake.

"Oh, wow. You're really serious about this." Levy balked. She knew Lucy's family was swimming in dough, but she also knew that Lucy rarely went anywhere near the fortune. She lived in a crappy shoe box apartment with not just one room mate, but two, both Cana and Juvia. She worked in a cute little odds and ends shop as a cashier and doubled as a barista in a local cafe all the while also attending college. In fact, college was the only thing she allowed her family to pay for. Lucy worked extremely hard for the little she had and it shocked Levy to see her so amped to use her family money for a business venture that may not work out.

Lucy shrugged and pulled out her phone, typing up a text.

"Of course I am! I can't be the only one who thinks this is the greatest thing since the creation of fire. Come on! It's a brilliant idea! Admit it!" She poked, teased and tickled the tiny blunette mercilessly. Levy laughed and squealed and shed unwanted tears as Cana joined in on the torture.

"I think it's a great idea! I'll bartend!" She announced confidently between her co-assault of satan tickles. Erza smiled and set down her glass on the coffee table which was being shaken by all of the commotion.

"Alright, then I shall take on the role of chef." She offered calmly. Lucy stopped tickling, but Cana continued in her place. Lucy realized that this could actually work. They all had something to bring to the table to get this show on the road. Juvia smiled and nervously wrung her hands.

"Juvia's brothers and father work with metals and occasionally do home and business maintenance. If we ever need something fixed or replaced, using Juvia's family would save our business money. And Juvia would be more than happy to provide art or photography services for it!" She casually reminded them. Juvia was an expert with paint and a camera. Her art was absolutely unmatched in beauty and inspiration. Lucy shook her head and grabbed her arm.

"That's not all! We'll all be business partners!" She cheered. Levy escaped from Cana's 10 finger torture chamber by the futon and quickly crawled to Erza's side. Cana knew better than to rough house near Erza. If she gets knocked even once, you better say your prayers because you'll be meeting your maker.

Levy sighed a breath of relief when Cana stayed in her place.

"Well, I guess since everyone else is taking part, I should too. I'll handle the legal matters, with help from an official of course." She conceded. Levy was incredibly smart and sassy to boot. She was a tiny dynamo. Not only is she studying Criminal law, but also business law, not to mention all of the languages she has already has learned and continues to learn. Lucy and Juvia both snatched Levy into a busty bombshell sandwich, Levy being the tiny, adorable middle.

"Oh! This is going to be so perfect! I'm letting my dad know right now!" Lucy screamed enthusiastically as she stumbled clumsily from the floor of the sardine can apartment to the door, her phone at the ready. As she flew out the door, Cana raised her bottle.

"To sexy fish men!" She slurred with a sly smile. Erza also raised her glass.

"Indeed. Such an intriguing idea." She clinked her glass with Cana's bottle and took a sip. Levy blinked and turned to Juvia.

"Uh... How exactly will the mermen thing work exactly? I mean... Waiters cant really walk in tails." She probed, genuinely curious as to what made Juvia's wheels turn.

Juvia blushed and looked down at the ground.

"Juvia's family sometimes works with another family on jobs. The other family are glass makers and they specialize in customized fish tanks. Juvia though perhaps we could have male tank entertainers and maybe the waiters could be pirates... or something." She whispered the last bit, hoping her idea made sense. Apparently it did because Levy lit up like a light bulb.

"Oh! I get it now. That's... Actually a really unique idea, Juvia." She praised. Juvia smiled and took a sip of her drink.

Lucy bounded back into the apartment with a joyous smile.

"He approved! We're going property hunting next week!" She exclaimed. Levy looked over her shoulder at her.

"We?" She asked uncertain of her meaning.

"All of us. Dad said that since we are all going to be sharing this as a possibly lucrative business venture that we should also make all of our major decisions together and venue is a big decision." She explained. Levy nodded.

"So, we're really opening a merman themed bar and restaurant?" She asked with a slight giggle. Lucy nodded and winked, giving her a thumbs up.

"That's right!" She beamed. Erza hummed to herself and took a sip of her drink.

"What will we call this place?" She wondered aloud. Cana shrugged and sat back against the futon.

"Fishy Tail." She managed to say with a straight face. The girls all shook their heads. Cana held up her hands in defeat. "I got nothin'."

Juvia thought for a moment about Cana's colorful, albeit silly, suggestion.

"Mermaids and Mermen are from folk lore... Juvia thinks Cana's idea wasn't too bad... How about... Fairy Tail?" She suggested sheepishly. The room fell silent while the girls considered this suggestion. Lucy smiled and lifted her glass.

"We are Fairy Tail!"

* * *

Author's Note:

I loved raventhefox's story idea so much that I was 1000% on board to write it.

Just like my collab fic, Thirsting Fates with thefairytailghoul, I will be writing the chapters and adding my own flare, but where the story goes is entirely up to raventhefox.

We hope you like it!


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